Place Of No Return
Oct 11, 2010
Wow. As an optimist and a silver lining person, it is unusual that a place has so remarkably disappointed me that I feel compelled to say as much. This weekend that very thing happened.
We were in Portland OR for a few reasons – most surrounding the beer community. So it’s almost a forgone conclusion we will get out to a pub or brewery or taproom we’ve yet to patronize. After all there are numerous places and opportunities.
Leave the dirt in the garden
The place in focus will remain nameless. Because I doubt that a hashing of the whole thing would matter one iota, quite frankly. Simply use this as a double check for your own place.
Here’s what we experienced:
1. In driving up to park it looked like the place was deserted, no one sitting in tables street side. While that’s not a crime, it seemed odd that a) it was Saturday night and the place wasn’t packed to the gills and b) usually people like to watch other people or activity outside.
2. The low rent really cheap and cheesy looking (not just kitschy) “Open” sign.
3. The place smelled like dried urine, seriously. Very unclean smelling. Maybe partially because the wood floors, which looked to previously have housed a manufacturing facility, were filthy. Uneven, impossible to clean even had they wanted to.
4. You ordered at a counter from a benign worker (drone?), got a number, sat down at a dubiously clean table. Another worker was lazily making his way around the huge space, squirting an unidentified liquid on surfaces, sloppily wiping them up. In the lights reflection you could plainly see that he was consistently poor at this task.
5. Having ordered a beer and sat with our number, we were sipping on it when the food came. First off, not being a beer judge yet being able to value quality craft beer, it was unremarkable. Not a crime, again, just seems like a waste of materials and labor – however unengaged the crew is. It was dull, not bright and had no healthy head to it.
6. Food arrived. The worker who brought it over set one in front of me, when we identified it was mine, set the other away from my husband not in front of him when it seemed pretty easily obvious the second plate was his.
7. Food t’was more unremarkable than the beer. Seemed such a shame. Good thing it was cheap – but then again cheap is still a waste of money. As lovers of food, the fact we left good sized portions of this bland food on the plate is a big sign. Anyone who sells food should be aware of this and try to do something about it.
8. Since we ordered at the counter, and we had left our credit card up there to start a tab in hopes of wanting another great beer, we returned to the counter to settle up. To the chagrin of the worker, my husband left no tip – it certainly was not deserved in any way shape or form. And frankly, this make sit potentially awkward had we wanted to leave a tip. No service, no smiles, no check back on beer and food, not clean, smells bad. Would you tip?? Self service = no tipping. Bad service absolutely means no tip. They did everything to not earn it.
9. Totally turned off, disappointed that these people call themselves craft brewers and the passion fell off the customer experience truck a long ways back, we left and headed elsewhere.
The true tragedy is many fold. Bored or dispassionate workers = sloppy work, bad customer experience and I can’t believe they were having any fun. Bad environment = easy to fix and inexcusable. Poor beer and food = double whammy. Saturday night should be full to overflowing = poor place is bad for every one’s economy.
This place does a huge disservice to the craft beer community, beer community in general, and any self respecting cook.
Take this as a lesson in what not to do. Tomorrow: What to do.
Tags: dirty, exceedingly bad experience, negative impression, no passion, smelled like urine, unclean
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